From Slide Rule to Excel

I have come from a slide rule generation and am now using excel. I recall the first time I sat in front of a computer. It was ten years ago when I went back to University to pursue a degree in Public Affairs. While my younger classmates surfed the net, I tried to find the "on" button. I had never heard of the Net let alone know what it contained. During that semester, I went from outer darkness to at least a comfortable working knowledge of email, internet search and file management. With some further instruction from different friends, I even managed to defrag and change appearance and create a blog. Comfortable but certainly not even scratching the surface of possibilities.
Today I decided I wanted to try my hand at Microsoft Publisher so I could make a flyer for my real estate business. This program is pretty idiot proof but then I wanted to make it into a pdf. I have spent another few hours downloading and installing Adobe but can't seem to execute the program. What I really want to do is execute my computer. First my dog, now my computer. (Stay out of my path if you know what is good for you.) Frustrated and impatient, I know there must be a way around all this but I have exhausted all my working knowledge and that help option is not helping right now. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
I have to confess that the slide rule was also a complete mystery to me though I could use it to figure out my Chemistry questions. Do they even make those things now?