Yesterday I received a text from one of my children that went like this: "I wish I would have..I would have been so good at it." This was a hindsight observation made from an opportunity that had been given but had subsequently been rejected because at the time it did not seem important nor worthy of the time needed to do it.Living a life without regret requires the ability to see beyond the present. It requires emotional and spiritual maturity. It requires thoughtful consideration from all sides of an opportunity.
I have only a few regrets and because of them they have shaped how I parented, how I deal with people and how I take on new things. I regret not having more children. Each of the four that we have has added so much to our lives. Their thoughts, ideas, activities and friends have added to our own and made our life fuller and richer.
I regret not going to law school earlier in my life. I didn't think I was smart enough. I didn't have enough push in me and like my child's observation "I could have been so good at it".
I regret that I let so many years pass without trying to resolve relationships with my Dad and my sister.
If I had only..taken that other road. I am reminded of the words of John Greenleaf Whittier who said “For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.”
So now my objective is that at the time I pass away, I don't want to be saying "I wish I had..." I am composing my bucket list if you will. What must you do and what do you want to do before your journey here ends?
2 comments:
I had that experience the other day. I was on a plane reading Alan Webber's Rules of Thumb. He posed what was essentially your question -- and in a flash -- I had the answer.
Sometimes what we must do is actually right in front of us, but we don't see it until we are ready to see it!
My best,
Whitney
It's funny how we tell ourselves that we'll be able to do it (what ever "it" is) later. Your comment about only having four children hits a chord with me. I'm struggling deciding about #2 and fear that I'll be like you later in life... having the thought that I should have had more.
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