Yesterday while speaking to two different women in seperate conversations, I heard them refer to "my best friend". One was referring to a friend she had from childhood. Another was referring to someone she has known for more than 30 years. As I listened to these women and mused about "best friends", I realised that the only person I would classify as a BFF is BW. Now don't get me wrong. I have good friends. I have close friends. I have reliable friends and funny friends, athletic friends, intelligent friends, intellectual friends, political friends, a sister who is my friend, numerous cousins too and don't forget the imperfect friends. But I don't ever refer to any of them as "my best friend". What constitutes a best friend? Is it someone whom you have known your whole life but still likes you? Is it someone you share common interests or experiences? Someone you trust with your deepest darkest secret? Yikes! That's a lot of dark and deep in my case. And on the other side of it, that's a lot of responsibility to be a BFF if those are the qualifiers. Keeping secrets and being perfect and saying all the right things at the right time in the right place would take some serious energy. What's the demarkation for acquaintance, friend and BFF? I never think in these terms except on a rainy day like today and when I'm having trouble writing something that really matters.
I either like you or I don't. I either want to spend time with you or I don't. I either trust you or I don't. I don't think I am anyone's BF. You would know that if you were wouldn't you? Judging from my dog's wagging tail ready for our daily walk, maybe I am someone's BF after all. He likes me all the time. Dark and deep. BFF or at least until the next meal.
6 comments:
maybe this is just a case of the apple not falling far from the tree--but i feel exactly the same way. i sort of feel like it is a rude thing to even mention unless you are talking with that best friend.
Who needs a BFF anyway. YOu have me - GFCCRT - Great Friend of the Cross Country Road Trip. Wasn't it just magical - sitting there in Park City - watching the St. George Marathon unfold before our very eyes!!! I am no dog but I am always good for a walk.
When did all this BFF come into our consciousness. Do we have to rate our friends: good, better, best. Ah, you are my good friend. Don't get me wrong, you're not my better friend--that's someone else. And my best friend is--wait, I better call her and make sure that I'm her BFF too. It's all so complicated,
I am on the same page Bonnie - I have a different BFF depending on what I am doing. I am lucky enough to have many friends for many situations! You are my BFFWMMT - Best Friend Forever Who Makes Me Think
I have some BFFs who probably don't know they are my BFF! It doesn't matter if they know it - I KNOW IT! And really, for me, it just comes down to semantics. I hope I am the best friend I can be to those who count on me. (I do love to be thought of as one's best friend, but I don't know if I am..... hey, maybe I should rethink my comment about not mattering if they know it or not!!!??!!) I am very happy to read however that BW is your BFF. I think of it (the way one sees their friend) as quite the compliment! Much love my good friend! K
When we were children we clasify our friends..but as adults I think we just know who we care about, who has our back, who we can call at 4 in the morning. One thing I know for sure...being able to count you as a friend makes my life richer.
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