When I started blogging two years ago, I called my blog Mon Nid Vide - my empty nest. I was the saddest woman on two feet back then. A stay at home mother, now redundant, feeling sorry for herself because the kids had all flown the coup. I did feel empty, pathetic and I couldn't think of one thing I wanted to do more than be their mother.
When we moved my mother back to our city from eastern Canada, the blog morphed into a memoir as dementia erased the contents of my mother's life. In those posts about Used to Be Mother I wrote snippets of conversations on her yearning for heaven, her obsession with punctuality and catching her urine sample. I ran out of content when she died on June 7th.
I'm not that sad woman anymore. An empty nest isn't a tragic thing. Your house stays clean. You can cook what you like when you like it. You can smooch on the couch without worrying about disgusted kids. The emptiness makes room for opportunity and dreams. The kids don't need me but you know what? I don't need the kids either.
I've commissioned an artist to create a banner for my blog. I'm brainstorming for a new title. I'm forming a flight plan to launch what's coming next. I'm studying for the GRE, looking into graduate school programs and some of it, I am just making it up as I go.
Stay tuned, I'm under construction.