Cone of Shame

Fernando had surgery last week to remove a hematoma from his ear and has worn "the cone of shame" ever since to protect it. He bumps into things regularly misjudging where he ends and the cone begins. It makes a nasty welt on your leg if he comes too close. He can't jump into the car on his own.

While "the cone of shame" does keep him from scratching at his incision, it doesn't in any way retard this thieving dog's habit. Tonight he found six Tim Horton's doughnuts on the counter while we were out for dinner. A half a dozen doughnuts on this beast's waistline isn't helping his already expanding girth. When the vet weighed him last week for his surgery, she was concerned he had gained twelve pounds in one year. I didn't tell her about all the wine gums, loaves of bread, chocolates and candies this dog has "found".

Any ideas on what might help?