Today I surprise Used to Be Mother with a visit and a new music CD. She is hunched over the card table in the exercise room working on her jigsaw puzzle. She squeezes me and tells me how good it is to see me. She wants to go to the bank and then to the drugstore to fill her eye drop prescription.
At the pharmacy counter, she farts.
UTBM: Did you hear that?
Me: Yes!
They point us over to some chairs where we can wait for her prescription.
UTBM: Oh I think I have to fart again.
She let's this one rip. No cheek squeezing here.
UTBM: Did you hear that?
Me: I'm sure they heard you in Toronto Mom.
UTBM: I don't know why I'm farting so much. And I poo a lot too.
I can't stop laughing.
UTBM: What's so funny?
Me: You.
UTBM: Feel my nose. It's so cold.
Me: It is. All your heat is in your bottom.
She has no idea what I mean.
She tells the pharmacist that I am her husband. He says yes I can see the resemblance and he winks at me.
I like being winked at in that playful way.
We go to wash the car.
UTBM: Your car doesn't look dirty. Don't turn off the music I like it. Do you want me to help you?
When I am done, I jump into the car to drive away. She points to a spot on the window I missed.
She's still Lillie Lysol. I like that about her. Except her clothes. Her pants have several spots on them and her top too.
Me: Mom let me start doing your laundry.
UTBM: I can do it myself.
We are now at her complex and she leans over to give me a kiss. She farts again.
UTBM: Oh my goodness I am a tooty one today.
I kiss her and say goodbye.
It's been a wonderful excursion with her.
3 comments:
well we know where rax get it from!
This makes me more afraid of losing my mind than anything else you've written about.
So funny. I am terrified to think of the day when I become the comedy show for my children. I hope it is nothing more serious than a bit of innocent farting!
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