Used to Be Mother's Gifts

There's a madness in Used to Be Mother's eyes now. They are vacant but also something else that alarms me. You don't know how she will react or what she will say. As plus size lady walked into the bank today ahead of us, Used to Be Mother, bordering plus herself, observed out loud how big the woman was. She has no filters and boundaries.

At the dinner table tonight she kept stuffing food into her mouth, her cheeks grew bigger and bigger. She announced she was full. I watched in disbelief as she spit out the half chewed food into her hand and then handed it to Fernando who waited for this moment knowing it would come. Before I could stop her,  she removed her teeth and fed the dog her findings.

She needed a little persuasion to go into her bath. Used to Be Mother tried several times to get herself situated before she could lay out completely. She wanted the water hotter. I had some baking to finish, so I let her soak. A half an hour later, she comes down in her pyjamas (she wears these only at my house because she doesn't need a robe with them). She wanted to go to sleep.

No mention of Christmas. No mention of her children who live elsewhere. No question of where my children were. It could be just any day for her.

It's been a long day.

1 comment:

Louise Plummer said...

All things have fallen away from her.